I am A Lazy Mom – The Truth About Unschooling

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Unschooling happens without the use of curriculum, testing, schedules and grades. Am I a lazy Mom? Here is the truth about unschooling.

Because I put my life on the internet, people feel the need to comment on me as a person even though they have only watched one YouTube video or seen one Instagram post.

It is amazing how many times I have been called a lazy parent on my unschooling videos.

You would think that I sat on the couch staring at my phone or having a nap the entire video!  But instead, I am playing with my kids, cooking with my kids, reading stories and playing board games.  We go on nature hikes and explore the world around us.  We are life learners.  Learning through play and life is how we approach education.

Are you confused about how that is lazy? 

Yea, I am as well.

But it is what I don’t do that makes people think I am a lazy mom.

I do not teach my children from a set curriculum (or send them to school).  There are no tests or grades in our house. I do not create a schedule of activities or tasks that need to be completed at certain times throughout the day to keep us on track on our learning adventure.

Does this make me lazy?

Keep reading and you can decide for yourself.

Let me start off by sharing a little story…

I heard through the grapevine that someone had mentioned that they thought my children were going to be stupid and out of control.  This person had not met my children and had only chatted with me online.  Sure, we had discussed parenting and schooling beliefs but, outside of that, we had not had any form of interaction.

This was not the first time I heard this and had people make this assumption.  This happens all the time.  I am happy to announce that she was gladly mistaken.

She was honestly uncomfortable meeting my family for the first time because she did not know what to expect of these radically unschooled children.  Would they be rambunctious and out of control free-range children?  Would they be noticeably behind and not be able to interact with other children who share their birth years?

Luckily, our kids hit it off right away and have spent many hours and days playing together and enjoying each other’s company.  This mom and I went on to have many in-person discussions and became good friends.

How could this happen?

Because unschooling does not equal neglect and stupidity but that is a common misconception.

My children are very well behaved and very respectful.  This isn’t just me being a proud mom.  I hear this all the time from family and friends, and even strangers when we are out and about.  And honestly, most unschooling families I have met are the same.

I am proud to say that my children are fantastic human beings who blend seamlessly into society despite their radical mother’s approach to life.

Learning vs Schooling

Just because we do not partake in a socially accepted form of schooling, does not mean we do not embrace learning.

Many people have been lead to believe that schooling and learning go hand in hand.  Yes, learning can happen at school.  But learning is not limited to a building and a person with a piece of paper stating they are qualified to teach.

Learning happens every day, whether you mean to or not.

Children and adults are constantly learning.  Children learn every moment of their precious lives, even if its things you do not want them to learn.  Babies learn to sit up and crawl by watching you move.  Toddlers learn about gravity by throwing food off their plate and watching it hit the floor.  Children learning letters as you snuggle on a couch reading stories and learn new dance moves from Fortnite.  Baking is a wonderful way to learn fractions.

Let a swear word slip?  Yup, your child just learned a new favourite word!

I choose to see the value in all of these learning experiences and do not discredit them.  Learning can happen at every moment.  You just have to open you eyes to see it.

Even within the world of unschooling, there are so many different philosophies.

Some unschoolers do not test and grade.  There are some that parents that use a curriculum but take unschooling days to allow their children to learn through their interests.  Then there are those are the far side of the spectrum called whole life unschoolers or radical unschoolers.  Like all variants, there are also all sorts of families that fall in between the extremes and styles of unschooling.  An unschool life is as different as all the families who choose to follow this way of life.

We are not 100% radical but we get pretty close, and I think that makes a lot of people nervous.

It is funny, in terms of unschoolers that I know [in person], we are by far the most radical.  When I go on facebook groups dedicated to radical unschooling, I am unschooling-lite.

There are so many different ways to parent and to educate your children.  You have to find what works for the group and the individuals within that group.  We have found what works for us and I want to share it with the world and inspire others to take that leap and try what they have been afraid to do.

Follow your dreams and do what works for your family.

If you are finding the school system or curriculum to restrictive, perhaps unschooling is the way to go.  You can always contact me via Instagram or Facebook if you have any questions!

The Work That Goes Into Unschooling

Educating your children is a lot of work.

I just want to say that right off the bat.  Whether you follow a structured homeschool plan, are radical unschoolers, or are just helping your child with their homework after a long day of school.

It is a lot of work.

Parenting is a lot of work!

As parents, and as fellow human beings, we need to build each other up instead of tearing each other down.  We need to support each other and build a community.  No one benefits from insults, whether you are the one receiving them or the one dealing them out.  A negative mindset will not move you in the direction of your dreams (unless your dream is to be a bully and lack the respect of your peers).  Positive thinking and respect are such powerful tools that many people forget they can embrace.

We need a village of love, respect, and kindness.

One thing that I have noticed about unschooling parents, is that they do a lot of research.

I know so many unschool, and homeschool, parents that can tell you about the research that they did when making their decision about their approach to education.

They did not take the decision lightly.

Copious amounts of time and energy go into making an informed decision. It is not something that falls into your lap.  Even if you stumble upon the concept, it is a hard one to grasp if you grew up with a standard education model.

I have:

• Read books, blogs, scientific papers… thousands of them.
• Watched youtube videos and documentaries… way more than I care to admit.
• Joined all the facebook groups on the topic.
• Spoken with hundreds of unschooling families.
• Become an adult unschooler and embraced life long learning.

All of this research has left with me with the confidence to be able to do what I do.  It has allowed me to feel at ease talking to other people about my decisions and philosophies.

Years ago I was the one asking a million and one questions, trying to wrap my brain around the concept and how it actually worked in real life scenarios.  Now I feel confident to be able to answer most of those questions.  I also am confident enough in myself and my knowledge to refer people to others when I do not know the answer.

Like my children, I too am an unschooler.

One thing about unschooling that I love, is that learning never stops.

Public school might go from 8-3.  Perhaps a homeschool set up has structured learning from 1-4.  Ask an unschooling family how many hours they learn for, and quite often they will tell you that learning is continually happening.

There is no timeframe for learning.

We wake up and we start exploring until the moment we go to bed.  New concepts and ideas are constantly being discovered or existing knowledge is being expanded and tested.

I say we because it is the whole family.  We learn together and push each other to challenge our knowledge of topics we are interested in.  As a family, we encourage each other to dive deeper until we have all the knowledge we could possibly suck in.  We question the information we find and discuss how concepts, ideas, and theories change.

If I do not know the answer to a question, we look it up together.  We delve into the world of outer space nebulas, herpetology, or how to replicate the flavours from our favourite Chinese food dish.

At the end of the day, we go to bed with our curiosity content and our minds full of new information and concepts.

Does this make me lazy?